I don't.... Houston, we have lift off!!

For the longest time, Colby's been telling me "I nebber use the potty, Mommy." I didn't push because in the experience of my friends, it's futile and maddening to try to force a child who is not ready to toilet train. I did, however, offer at opportune times. And I always got the less than desirable "nebber" response. Then a week ago Thursday, Colby woke up dry. Even Kailin has only woken up dry a precious few number of times. Both kids are very deep sleepers, so I am not surprised. I knew his bladder had to be full, so I plunked him down on the potty and I got "Mom, I don't." He doesn't use the phrase "I can't" (I prefer the kids to say "I need help" not "I can't" but he just plain doesn't seem to know the word "can't" so he substitutes "don't" and it's pretty cute and also quite funny.

I told him that if he wasn't going to use the potty I was going to put his nighttime diaper back on. He prefers the pictures on his daytime diaper, so he was none too happy with me, but I figured the nighttime diaper was already wasted and I wasn't about to waste another one since he was inevitably going to go soon and fill the darned diaper. I tried hard not to be the least bit annoyed by any of it, but I kind of failed. I don't think I portrayed it outwardly, though.

The following morning I intended to put the kids in the tub first thing as we were planning on being out that evening on a date and were headed off to the Lemm's for the weekend on Saturday morning. Colby woke up dry again and although I have come to grips with the fact that all little boys will pee in the tub a little, I wasn't about to bathe both kids in an all night bladder full of it!! I plunked his little nudie back on the toilet and told him he wasn't getting in the bath until he peed. (It was true enough - if he hadn't gone on the toilet my intention was to bathe Kailin and then just shower him separately...)

Whether it was the combination of the running water and the full bladder, the threat of missing out on bath, or just God's gift to me I'll never know, but Colby said, "Oh, okay!!" and commenced emptying his entire bladder. It's like the switch had been thrown and he suddenly moved from solely being able to make a toot on the potty to knowing what made the pee come out. (sorry for the graphic nature of this post, but there's just no way around it) I'd been telling him that if he peed on the potty I'd get him some Diego pull ups and so after praising him up and down for his feat, I went that very day and got them. We haven't really looked back. I was sure we'd be back in diapers and we occasionally are for part of a day to drive home the point that he needs to go in the potty, but he's far more potty trained than I expected 8 days in!

We're still working on doing #2 in the potty, though. I was so amused on Tuesday this week when he ran his little buns into the kitchen and screamed at me "I need to POOP!!!" I hustled him off to the potty, got him on, and then he looked at me and shook his head and said definitively, "I don't." It continued to be funny to me the other seven times it happened that morning. "I don't." Not, "I don't go poop now" or "I don't need to"; just "I don't". I'm a little disappointed that he "still doesn't" more often than not, but I do know that #2 comes later for a lot of kids and truthfully, if it had to be one switch or the other, I'll take the control of #1 for now and we'll work on #2.

I'll post again when the glorious day comes that "he does". Ha ha ha. My little man is growing up!

lesson learned...

One of the many, many things I learned through this cancer journey is this - for all the kind deeds you (or someone else may do) it takes only one wicked act to undo them all. I say this for two reasons - one is that I was literally in awe of the power that one (albeit repeated) act of unkindness (is that even a word?) had over me to undo the very warmth and fulfillment that so many acts of selfless kindness had instilled. It made me really angry. Angry at the person who continually amazed me with her unwillingness to be kind, angry at myself for letting her (and the results of her action/inaction) make me angry, and angry that I allowed it to deflate me despite all the wonderful, caring actions of others. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through - to be so aware of my emotions and desire so much not to have them and yet seem powerless (I think from sheer exhaustion all around - mentally, emotionally, and physically) to overcome. I prayed a lot about it - and often. I know my prayers were not unanswered because the whole experience has caused me to grow - and that's the second reason I post this. I had an aha moment - an epiphany of sorts - although it was common sense really... it came to me just outside of a McDonald's drive through (I stopped to get a Diet Coke - one of my few delights during my ridiculous low iodine diet)... I just plain had to get a hold on the I want to feel. I had to turn the proverbial other cheek and just put my foot down on letting someone else's bad attitude and lack of concern control me. I know - intuitive, but before that moment I just didn't have it in me to do it. I suddenly did and I took a break from singing a Christmas carol to thank God right then and there for the opportunity to know the difference and recognize it. I want to look back (often) and remember that I should take every opportunity I can to be kind to someone not only because it is the right thing to do, but because you never know when someone has been brought to their emotional knees by an unkind act and your generosity or sensitivity or listening ear just may be the thing that causes them to get up off their knees and remember that there are kind and loving people in the world. I don't mean this to be a soapbox - I just mean it to be a reminder to myself that every single thing I do impacts someone in some way and I would much rather lift someone up than knock them down. 'Nuff said.

Daddy's day with the kids...

I know that I've been a bad, bad blogger lately. I wanted to post the following email I received from Steve last weekend while I was in isolation. It is a true testament to his humorous side and also to the fact that he is a fabulous Daddy! Enjoy!!

Dear Blog -

Someday I'll give you a name, but for now, you will have to be Blog. The day started great and crappy at the same time - I do mean crappy - not literally, physically. I will explain in a moment. First the kids slept (or at least were quiet) until 7:30 (this proves that God does exist). We all got up and I decided to bail on Cricket class due to time and a headache. I eyed up the beer in the fridge to kill the pain (headache and kids....just kidding Blog) but went for Tylenol - figured it would do double duty and help to comfort the "the boys" as well. After breakfast the kids played, dog puked, kids played some more, dog crapped in the house, and the kids played some more. The kids played great and I managed to clean the kitchen. Blog - I don't know what you did with my real kids, but you can keep them and I'm keeping the two you left me. Then we moved onto cookie baking. The kids had a blast but the cookies look like they've been blasted. The cookie dough turned out more like cake batter. I should have just tried adding more flour to thicken up the batter but the damn chemist in me had to stick to stick to the damn recipe. Oh well, wish me better luck next time Blog.

I decided that since the kids were being so good that I would treat them for lunch and made a Daddy Special. A peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich!! For desert they each got to try half of a famous "Daddy's Blasted Cookies". To my amazement, there was complete silence as they were consumed and disappointment expressed that they only got half. Listen Blog, I only gave them half because they were the size of my frigg'n head. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit, but they were damn large due to the cake batter consistency.

During changing Colby's diaper, Kailin asked what a bottle was that was on the changing table. I said, "It's baby oil" and her reply was "Is this what we give babies when they squeak?" Gotta love child logic!! Then they went down for nap - even Kailin willingly. Again Blog - you are NOT getting these kids back!! Of course she came down 6 minutes and 12 seconds later to tell me that she slept already. She willingly went back up and to sleep. Just what the hell happened to my kids Blog, what did you do to them!! They woke up and been pleasantly treated to an afternoon of shows.

Ok Blog, off to cook supper - hopefully I won't blast the hell of it!! Until next time.

Blessed

There is a great community here where we live, and some of it is presently shoveling my driveway. It's a wonderful sight - two of my good friends, and as I type this I can see another on her way over - and their kids - all out with shovels clearing my driveway. I HATE that I can't do it myself, and it was difficult for me to ask a friend for the help, but in humbling myself to ask, I am rewarded by being filled up and reveling in seeing how one good deed has snowballed (forgive the bad pun if you will) into six or eight (the kids aren't much help -speaking for my daughter at least, who is out there "shoveling" the snow directly back onto already shoveled areas). Bless my friend's ten year old son who was actively excited to shovel for us and his mother for raising him to love to serve. She is out there with him along with her 5 year old, my 4 year old, my neighbor and her 6 year old (and 2 year old), and another neighbor and her 4 year old. They all have shovels and are working as a team, old fashioned community style to clear our driveway. This is just one shining example of how we have been blessed in these months with gifts too countless to number. Kailin needed some dry mittens just now and I poked my head out the door to holler another "thank you" and my friend said, "You must be a wonderful woman - look at all these people who came out to help." She's shoveling my driveway and I'm the wonderful one? I'm so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful circle of friends and family always, but particularly in times like these. What better gift in life could I ask for?

Great Expectations

Yesterday was supposed to be one of my favorite days of the year; the day we tromp out and cut down our Christmas tree and then fill the rest of the day with decorating the house and smelling the aroma of the fresh-cut tree. However, when it became clear that both of the kids were FAR underslept, I changed my expectations dramatically. I expected to be frazzled beyond belief and I expected to come home with whatever tree we could cut down the fastest. Unfortunately, with upcoming events, the deed had to get done yesterday - cranky kids or not. They were just at each other every single minute and when they weren't busy with that, they were whining to us or in time out. One of those days. Still, we loaded up around 10am and headed off to the tree farm.

I'm so glad that children are born destined never to do what we expect of them. I do wish, though, that I could learn to lower my expectations more often so that I could pave the way for my children to exceed them (read - turn me into a liar). Ha ha. The kids were pretty darn well behaved and actually got into the fun of things. Colby in particular (I think because he can't remember having done this last year) was just loving the whole thing. He ran along ahead with little regard to where (or if) we were behind him. Kailin was more cautious and worried about getting dirty or burrs or sticks and the like. I think she dashed some of Steve's budding hopes for her prospects as a geocaching, camping, fishing, or hunting partner. Ha ha. She's a girly girl and I don't think it can be helped. I started picking out some trees in jest - small ones, barren ones, or brown ones. Last year, Kailin would've agreed with me just to agree but this year she was entirely aware of the joke and would proclaim "No, Mom that one is too small (or brown or dead)!! We can't pick that one. Now where is our tree for real?" They tromped up and down the rows with excitement - making games with each other and giggling and laughing. I came to one row that we normally would've walked around since the trees were growing somewhat close together, but I had one of those aha mom moments and decided to adventurate our way through the row. The kids ate it up! Then we came to another such row, this one even more densely grown together. Kailin exclaimed, "Well now what do we do? We're all locked out!" Too cute!

Maybe it's my muddled brain (a side effect of no medication at present), but I had a horrible time with spacial relation and I kept thinking that all of the trees we liked would be too wide for our house or too big for the stand (although you can't blame my hesitation given our lack of luck with having trees stay in our stand upright for the entirety of the season!). So we walked and we walked and we walked some more. The kids were still doing well, but we could tell that they were about done. Kailin started suggesting that perhaps we really DID want a tiny little tree and both of them inquired often (read about every 30 seconds) about just when we'd get to ride the hay wagon. We finally located the tree we wanted! I took pictures of the kids in front of it and cajoled them to use their "nice smiles" only to discover that it's trunk would FAR have exceeded the maximum allowable size to fit in our stand. We trudged on. Even I began lowering my standards significantly as I could feel myself wearing out.

With a little more walking and a little more creative discussion about the hay wagon ("we need a tree first - it's our ticket to get on the wagon"), we did manage to find a tree that Steve and I agreed was a nice one. I took more pictures of the kids in front of this one and they looked proportionately less happy than they had with the last one. I backed them away and Steve set to cutting. We all got ready to yell "Timber!" and then Colby let loose. He was HORRIFIED that Steve was cutting down (he referred to it as knocking down which tickled my funny bone) HIS "Chritmas tee". I explained that cutting it down was the only way for us to get it home, and he was okay with that. Poor Steve had to drag the thing to the wagon stop. We commenced waiting for the wagon. By this time, it's 12:15 and we know that the kids are hungry and tired, so we're figuring this is good timing. About 12:35 the tractor crested the hill and we cheered. Then it pulled up (with 2 people on the hay wagon and one tree in the rear) and told us that it had another large tree to pick up and that they had no room for us. What could we do but say "okay"? I was NOT happy. Bless my kids - they didn't say a word and didn't break down. Again, far exceeding my expectations. We ended up waiting til 1:15 for the next tractor to come around and then they had room for the tree but not for us. I was just, well, done. I didn't know what we were going to tell the kids who had now waited a full hour (not including all the tromping around time) for their chance to ride the hay wagon and now they weren't going to get to. There was no way we could stand there another 45 minutes. We plied them with the promise of McDonald's on the way home and said we'd have to be sure to ride next year. Then I overheard the driver asking some of the people what type of trees they were looking for. I told Steve that we'd better book it over to the next tractor stop and I bet we could get on as they all got off. So book it we did and the kids got their tractor ride. Colby howled when it was time to get off, but I figured he was owed at least a small tantrum after the adventure of the day. It took us until 2:15 to get the tree shaken, baled, paid for, and on the roof of the Jeep. So now the overtired children wouldn't be napping at all....oh my!!

We got home and got them (and us) some very late lunch and parked them in front of a show so that we could unload and maneuver the tree ourselves. We got it down and to the porch and then Steve trimmed it up so we could get the stand base on it. Cut 1. We then "sized it up" in the front hall to make sure it was short enough to fit in the living room only to discover that we were, for the first time, WAAAAAAAY off on the height of the tree. Cut 2. The results were that we were still laughably far away from a tree that would fit in the living room. Cut 3, 4, and 5 kind of blend together. Cut 6 occurred actually IN the living room and we've decided not to have a tree topper this year. Ha ha ha ha ha. Thankfully we were able to maintain our sense of humor through the whole thing and I love our tree - warts and all. It's got a few branches near the bottom that stick out in a funny way and an area facing the kitchen that is well....nonexistent, but you know, it was memorable and it's got character and it will serve us well. --And it will stay in the stand, upright if it knows what's good for it!!!

So much for the rest of the decorating. It'll have to wait. I don't mind. Lots of things are worth the wait and I wouldn't trade the memories we made yesterday for anything in the world.

Collateral damage and fire shammies

I took Kailin on a shopping spritz (not quite a spree) to the dollar store on Saturday. My mom took her last year to get gifts for Steve, Colby, and me and I thought it might be fun to have her pick out gifts for her grandparents, my mom, and her teacher. It was a blast and she pondered each gift fairly carefully (after having to be reminded that we weren't buying things for her to play with at Grandma and Grandpa's, we were buying gifts we (she) thought Grandma and Grandpa would like to have).

After the dollar store, we stopped at Michael's for supplies for a Christmas craft I have in mind. It mystifies me that you can get 75 large popsicle sticks for $2.99 or you can get 300 for $3.99. I guess maybe adults with no kids would think that perhaps they'd never use the other 225, but there's got to be someplace to donate them - church or somewhere - so isn't it a no brainer that you'd get the bigger package?! Anyway, I had already handed Kailin the smaller package when I discovered the larger one. I meant to balance the larger box on the shopping cart handle until she could grab it from me, but instead it toppled into her lap. With a smile on her face she said, "Mom! You tried to damage me!" DAMAGE? DAMAGE? When did my baby get big enough to know (and use) words like "damage"?

In an unrelated topic, I've been meaning to post about Colby's obsession with his "shammies" (pajamas). He would prefer to wear them 24/7 (wouldn't we all!?) and if (when) he doesn't get his way, he voices his disdain LOUDLY. For several nights he went on and on about how he couldn't wear his "fire shammies" because they were wet. Whichever of us was putting the kids to bed "uh-huh'd" our way through the conversation. On about the third night I thought to ask Steve if he had any clue what "fire shammies" might be. He didn't. I didn't. Kailin didn't. And then a lightbulb went on over my head just like in the cartoons. He has a pair of yellow and red tie dye print jammies. The very next morning I opened his drawer and asked him if those were his "fire shammies" and he jumped for joy and said, "My fire shammies clean!!!!! I wear dem tonight?" I assured him he could. Fire shammies are still a hot (no pun intended) item in his drawer, but I'm sad to report that the full on obsession has moved to his Mickey shammies which are sadly out of season. It's going to be a long, long, winter... ha ha ha.

Making her list....

Kailin is spending the afternoon with a pen and a Target catalog. It was my idea. What I didn't expect, though, was for her to "like" nearly everything in the catalog!! She's "circling up" all the things she likes. She's also selecting some things that she'd like to get her brother, including at least one thing that "is for when he's older, mom." It's really a heartwarming experience to watch her concentrating hard and discussing with (anyone who will listen) herself about what we already have and how she's putting a K on her circles and a C on the circles of the things for Colby. The only unfortunate part is that she's saying "I'm going to get this!" and then circling it up. I have to keep reminding her that she's ASKING for whatever it is. There are no promises as to what she's actually going to get! We'll see how it pans out....look out Santa!

Mom, how do we put the sprinkles on?

Kailin is a fairy for Halloween today. (Colby is a monkey, but that's not as key to the story - although he is a seriously adorable monkey! I feel like that costume was made for him!) We told her that if she took a good nap she could go out trick or treating. She was RARIN' (and if I could make that font bigger, I would!) to go as soon as she came down the stairs. Colby had to be awoken from his nap. As I was awoken from mine, I could feel for his somewhat foul mood and lack of enthusiasm. We put on "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" to warm him up. He got a kick out of it, but Kailin was antsy.

She'd gotten some glitter with a cute feather applicator for her birthday. I'm not a fan of glitter. I like how it looks and I like the joy it brings to my daughter (and if we're honest here, my son as well), but I don't like the lasting effect it has on our life - and last it does!! Once glitter, ALWAYS glitter! Anyway, she'd asked about the glitter several times and I told her I was saving it for a special occasion. I really wasn't, but it sounded good and served it's purpose. I happened on to it the other day while rummaging around in the cupboard and the lightbulb went on. She could be a glitterific fairy for Halloween!!!

So in the midst of her antst (give it to me people....I know it's not a real word), I called her into the kitchen and produced the glitter. She said, "what is thaaaaaaat???????" and I said, "It's special fairy sparkles! We're going to put them on and then you'll sparkle like a jewel (I left off - "and so will the rest of the house and the surrounding neighborhood)!" She lit up as I knew she would and asked, "Mom, how do we put the sprinkles on?" I laughed out loud at the idea of dousing her in jimmies to complete her fairy costume. We sprinkled her and she ran to the bathroom to look. I wondered if maybe she wouldn't be able to see them and warned her accordingly. I heard from the depths of the bathroom, "No Mom, I CAN see them! I'm beautiful!!!" Mission accomplished! The bad news - this adventure used about 1 1/1,000,000th of the glitter. More fun times ahead!!!

Classical taste...

Colby has always been my musical boy. He and I share a true love for music - neither of us can hear it without moving to the beat. I've recently re-discovered my love of classical music and have been listening to it almost exclusively in the last week or so. This morning I've been trying to comb through and pick out some particularly relaxing pieces to put together into a playlist. I don't have a very extensive collection, though, and have been "trying out" some new composers (well, the composers themselves aren't at all new - they're just new to me).

The kids were asking about my headphones earlier today so I decided to let Colby try them out. As I played a snippet of Debussy's "Clare deLune", he was riveted. He looked up at me with his soulful eyes and begged to hear more. I know it's silly to think, but I hope that he'll look back and remember that moment - not necessarily which piece of music it was, but maybe that he shared this moment with me - each of us with an earbud. He probably won't, but I know that I will. It was one of the most everyday, but most touching moments I've had as a mom.

And also, the Paillard Chamber Orchestra and Royal Philharmonic and I don't necessarily agree about which pieces constitute "the Most Relaxing Classical Music in the Universe". They've got some seriously uptempo pieces in their mix!!

Going through the big C and I don't mean Canada...

I'm going to be fine and that is the most important thing. I have thyroid cancer and will have my thyroid removed, have some radioactive iodine (maybe I'll even glow in the dark!), and then take a thyroid replacement medication. The surgery has a pretty easy recovery and once they get my meds regulated (that part could give me a few months of varying degrees of exhaustion from what I hear), I'll be good as new. Perhaps a little "bride of Frankenstein"-ish in the neck region for awhile until my scar fades, but that I can handle.

It's a catchy title, but in truth I HATE the "big C" euphemism. It's cancer. It's ugly, and that's what it is. Call a spade a spade, right? (Really it annoys the living daylights out of me, so here's fair warning against using it!)

The real reason for posting this is because I've been just awed at how much support I've received in the six days since my diagnosis. People from church have offered meals, prayers, and one person near to my heart offered ANYTHING including letting me call and just yell at her! Friends and family have offered to make meals, pray, help watch the kids, clean our house, clean our toilets (I think that one shows a particular degree of devotion) and a college friend even offered to "go cueball" for me in support (although I will thankfully not be losing my hair). As someone who lacks self esteem and has failed miserably at ever overcoming that problem, I'm so lifted up by all of the support everyone has offered. -- That people are so willing to go out of their way to help me fills me up in a way that I know I could never find the words to express. It gives me confidence and I know that it will help in my healing. So thank you, thank you in more ways than you will ever know.

My other reason for posting this is to marvel at God's plan. I've said for a long time that everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan for each of us, and I've truly believed that. I've struggled to live my words in times of deep hurt, but I've taken a lot of comfort in those same times in knowing that we do not suffer needlessly - that our God is a loving God who never asks more of us than He knows we can bear. I've also at times wondered why Steve and I were in such a hurry to have kids after we got married. I know that a lot of it stemmed from wanting to be relatively young parents and also knowing that we'd probably have trouble conceiving, I wanted the show on the road as soon as possible. That said, I think I would've enjoyed some time to just be a couple - a few years to do some traveling or frivolous staying up into the night watching movies.... but then again I know that changing our timing AT ALL would have resulted in us having children different from the ones we have now. And that part I would never want to change. I can't believe how remarkably God matched our kids with us. Kailin IS me. She couldn't be more me if she shared my genes - her emotions are irrevocably on her sleeve and they run high; she is feisty, tenacious, and loving. Colby is so much like Steve - so very laid back, but so caring -- selfless and devoted - yet ALL boy. I do have a point here and it is this. If we'd waited much longer, we'd still be waiting (China is only now referring the end of April 2006 - in the three years we've been HOME, they've not yet moved one year past our log-in date). And China doesn't allow parents who've had cancer to adopt. Although maybe we'd be grandfathered in, my guess is that we'd have to be updating medical forms all along. Either way, I feel like the question of why we pressed on so early in our marriage has been answered for me. There are so many times when you have to just trust in God's plan when only He knows the whys behind it, so it's kind of special to me to feel (whether it's the truth or not) like I got to peek and see the answer key - even if just for a moment.

I've been so blessed to have peace with this, truly. I think that my excellent prognosis has a lot to do with it, but I also have a peaceful acceptance and two doctors whom I trust. This is a bump in my road and a call to remember how precious each day is and to be thankful for all of the blessings in my life -- and there are many.

Can Andrew have a sleep over?

Kailin came home from school yesterday talking all about a new friend. Andrew. "Can Andrew have a sleepover someday?" "No, honey, probably not." "But WHY? I want him to sleep over!" "Well, you're a little young for sleepovers." She bought it.

I inquired further and discovered that Andrew is not actually in her class. He rides her bus. She says he's nice to her and talks to her on the bus. She doesn't know what class he's in or how old he is or who his teacher is. Figures.... ha ha ha.

It's very cute to me that she's having little conversations on the bus that have her endeared enough to ask for a sleepover. Maybe my little birdie is turning out to be more of a social butterfly than I expected!

the dawning of a new age...

The age of Aquarius...oh no wait...that's not where this was headed...

As of September 3, Kailin is officially in school. There is no more home all morning, jammies til 10am some days, breakfast whenever she feels like it. There is now a regimented schedule culminating at 7:45 when I herd six kids out the door and down to the bus stop and then make sure that 2 of them are in the bus line and that the other four are definitely NOT.

I was worried about the first day. Kailin is a bit (understatement) shy in new situations, and when we visited her school and met her teacher on Tuesday of last week she completely clammed up and didn't speak a word the entire time. She got to see her locker, meet her teacher and the aide, put her supplies away, and check out the room. She enjoyed it, and told me afterward that she was excited to go back (thank you, God!), but I was still a little worried. We read a lot of the Berenstein Bears First Day of School last week. --Partly because I felt like it was keeping the "let's go to school! Rah! Rah! Rah!!" momentum going and partly because I've loved that book since I was a kid (the big barrel of clay always looks so fun to me!).

For my part, I think I psyched myself up too much about the end of an era and that she'll never just be home with me again. It will always be summer break or Christmas break or spring break from now on if we have the luxury of lazy mornings. But you know what? When the time came, Kailin merrily boarded the bus, slid into a seat, and smiled and waved as the bus pulled away. I didn't even shed a tear. Colby was a bit of a different story, I'm afraid. First he tried chasing the bus down the sidewalk and then determined that he'd just stay at the corner with tears streaming down his little face and call for Bubbee until she came home again. I finally convinced him that she'd be home at lunch time and that he would see her soon enough and carried him on home.

My heart was bolstered further when she climbed happily off the bus at lunch time (after stopping to talk to the bus driver for a minute - about what, I don't know) and then went into great detail about all the things she'd done and how excited she was to go back. It's always been like nailing jello to a tree to get any details out of her about the goings on at Chinese school or Sunday School, but this was the polar opposite. She told me all about "The Kissing Hand" book and coloring ("Mrs. Hokanson says to stay in the lines") and playing in the house only when the light is on....and on and on. I'm so excited that she loves it so far, and so excited that I can feel free to let her move on to this next chapter of her life without any guilt that I'm pushing her for her own good or that she wasn't ready or that I should've kept her home one more year.

And today, on her second day of 4k, she again happily lined up for the bus, directed me "don't come to my school and watch today"(I assured her that I couldn't possibly do so with all the kids here at home), hopped on that bus and smiled and waved excitedly as it drove away. I know it won't always be this fun for her, or this easy for either of us. But for now I'm going to soak it up and encourage that bright little birdie of mine to venture out away from the nest, explore her world, and be open to all the things it has to offer. Colby only just needed to hold my hand awhile today when his beloved Bubbee rode away, so there's hope for him yet, too.

Like jewelry or something...

Colby just finished eating yogurt. I looked up to see that he'd upended the bowl to try and get the last molecules out with his tongue. He had yogurt all over his eyebrows, his mouth, and his nose. I said, "You have your yogurt all over the place!" and Kailin said, "Yeah, like jewelry or something! Silly monkey!" It was really cute and silly and it made my heart (and my face) smile. I love that girl!

Midnight wakeup call...

I heard it in the night, in my dream, and then in my reality. A panicked, somewhat terrified, urgent call..."Mama!!! MAMA!!!!! MOMMY!!!!!" It was Colby and I'm pretty sure he had a bad dream. I went into their room and fumbled to his bed and picked him up. He latched on and clung to me the way you see a little chimpanzee cling to it's keeper. It was solid and kind of desperate. He nuzzled into my neck the way that only my darling son does, and relaxed immediately. I sat down in the rocker with him and started to rub his back - up under his shirt - skin on skin. In that moment in the middle of the night it occurred to me that right now I am Colby's only mama. I'm the only mama he knows. When he thinks of mama he thinks only of me and that won't last much longer. I'm okay with the day when he truly understands that he has a Taiwan mama, but it's kind of nice to live a little bit in his ignorance when he doesn't have questions running through his head about why he has a Taiwan mama and if she loves him like I do - or maybe even if I love him like she would have. So as my boy lay on my chest last night with his sweet, hot breath on my neck, I said a little prayer of thanks. Thankful to be his mom and thankful that his other mom chose to share him with me. I'm not always the nicest mama in the middle of the night and I admit it, but in times like last night, I'm grateful that God gives me the strength and patience to be the mom I wish I could always be and the wisdom to be thankful for it.

Me dood it, ool gone, and RIDE ON!!!!

I've been meaning to blog for awhile about the prevalence of "dude" in our house. It's not so much "dude" actually as "dood". As in, "ME dood it!!!!" should you try to help Colby with something or "Bubbee dood it!" if he's trying to get himself out of trouble. It's cute. Kailin never used dood or "me" incorrectly, but both of the little boys do. I know I should be correcting them. I promised myself I'd start as soon as the bigger kids go off to school, but somehow "dood" is just to irresistibly cute to put a stop to just now.

Colby also seems to have, in some cases, some sort of European accent. I've been struggling with how to articulate how it sounds, and "ool gone" is about all I can come up with. It's definitely not all or awl or ole....it's ool. I don't know where he picked it up, but I find it nearly as endearing as "dood" and that one's not even technically wrong, so I'm letting it be!!

Lastly, Colby's been having a hard time this summer. Dawson learned how to pedal really early in the summer as did the little girl next door (who's not even two yet). He WANTED to do it. We worked and worked on it and I tried pushing his little legs from the top and pushing the bike itself so he could feel how it should feel with his feet going around. No luck. I tried being in front of the bike and sort of pulling his feet around on the pedals so that the right leg muscles would work. Nothing. He looked the other kids and then tried to effect what he saw. I could see him struggling with it and it was a testament to his patience (unlike his sister). He is VERY proficient at foot pedaling (Flintstones style) his little bike and is faster doing that than most kids who pedal. Yesterday, though, was finally his day! He has a long way to go and still gets frustrated, but he pedaled a good long piece all on his own. Of course he celebrated by screaming, "Mommy - look!! Me dood it!!!"

Day 3

I'd invited my mom up for the day on Sunday (long before the catastrophic events of Saturday) and I was glad. I don't ever get to spend as much time with her as I'd like and this was a good opportunity to share the day with her. We played with the kids and then had lunch. While the kids napped, Mom and I watched "New in Town" with Renae Zelweger and Harry Connick, Jr. It was good and it gave me a hankering for some tapioca. When the kids got up we were planning to head outside for a bit, but Mother Nature had other plans. It rained cats and dogs for a good long while and my garden was glad for it! Mom offered to take us out for dinner so we packed off for Culver's and the kids enjoyed it. It was clear to me that we rarely take them out when Kailin said, in disbelief, "and we're going to eat HERE?" Sad, but true!

I needed a few things at the grocery store so we stopped there on the way home and my Saint of a mom loaded the kids into a truck cart and drove them around while I shopped in peace*. (*peace being relative as I was still able to HEAR my kids half way across the store....sometimes with happy noises and other times....well.....use your imagination). Home and kids in bed. Another day down and I'm still alive. I daresay it was a good day!

Day 2

Houston we have....complete and utter system failure!!!

I awoke on day 2 of my adventure at 4:30am. Why? Because my wonderful, caring, FORGETFUL husband failed to turn his alarm off. It wouldn't have been a big deal at all except that I was a. petrified that it was going to wake either the children or my friend Katie and b. I've never been able to figure out Steve's alarm clock. If you happen to (fumbling in the dark) touch ANY button other than the correct one, it irrevocably sets the sleep function and/or a second alarm. I have been unable to find a way to turn either one off once engaged. Therefore, I now found myself fumbling around behind the bed for the plug so that I could unplug the blasted thing. The only problem with that is that is that the wall behind our bed is directly behind Colby's head and I was still living in fear of waking him up! I noticed I had a headache, but determined that a trip to the medicine closet was not worth the chance of waking the rest of the crowd. I should've chanced it!

By the time I awoke "for real" at 6:30, my head was POUNDING and I felt a little like tossing my cookies. Not a good way to start the day!! Things were going along as well as can be expected under that circumstance. I was due to host one of Kailin's friends for a few hours that morning while her mom was at work and I figured it would be good to have some entertainment for Kailin. The girls soon reported to me that Peanut had vomited all over the floor. Thankfully it was on the linoleum, but it was still a royal mess. No sooner did I have that cleaned up than a report of Sugar vomiting came in. Seriously?! BOTH dogs in one morning? Sugar did it on the carpet (of course) although it was less of a monstrosity of a mess than Peanut's contribution. Fine....moving on....going to have a good rest of the day. Or not.

A neighbor came to the back door to let me know that we could pick the raspberries of another neighbor. A kind gesture. Peanut's reaction was NOT kind. When I finally had him convinced that the house was not actually under siege, he repaid me for the relief of duty by relieving himself all over the kitchen floor. I was NOT pleased.

I made the kids some early, light lunch and we were due to head off to a welcome home party for a friend's son. My head was pounding, but we'd agreed to go and I figured it might be a better distraction to get them out of the house than to keep them home. I had everyone loaded into the car and was just buckling Kailin into her seat when she accidentally jabbed me in the eye with the comb for her dog and it hurt soooo bad!! It wasn't until minutes later that I realized my contact was gone. For anyone who doesn't know, I wear gas permeable contacts and I don't have any extras as a result. I was just...well....reduced to tears at the thought of having to wear my glasses (and thus no sunglasses) to drive 1.5 hours each way to and from the party with a smashing headache. I searched EVERYWHERE for the contact to no avail. I finally ended up pulling myself together and driving down the road with my sunglasses perched atop my eyeglasses. I was a spectacular sight!

I was due to go to Julie and Julia with my friend Katie and let it slip to Kailin that Caleb was coming to play. She immediately launched into a mantra of "I don't want you to go" that literally lasted til the very moment she fell asleep in the car on the way home and began again the moment her eyes opened. I tried reasoning with her that I would come back just like I always do. I went so far as to ask her if she was going to drive away to school every day this fall. She said no. I was nervous that we were headed down that road when she said with a smile, "the BUS DRIVER will drive, Mom. You're silly. I can't drive!" I modified my question and she said that yes, she was going to go off to school every day. I asked if she was going to come home every day and she said yes, she was going to. I asked if she promised. She said yes. I asked if I should stand at the bus stop every day and wail loudly that she shouldn't go. She saw right through me and said, "No mom... and that's different!" and then launched back into the mantra. Hrmph.

I felt bad for poor Caleb, but not bad enough to stay home!! The movie was great and the rest of the night was uneventful. The day didn't give me much hope overall for the week that lay ahead, but I figured it really couldn't be much worse, and that gave me a strange sense of peace.

Day 1

Steve left on Friday for a backpacking trip to Montana. Although I know I can exist without my husband, I don't often choose to. As sappy as it sounds, he does complete me and he is my sanity at the end of the day and the one I want to talk to and lean on when I'm not feeling like a good mom or when I just plain need strength. My whole world feels off kilter when we are arguing, so I have to honestly say that as much as I was excited for him to go off and do something he loves and see the wonders of God's hand, I had a lot of anxiety about how I'd do here at home without him for a whole week (we never last more than a few hours arguing, so a week seems like an eternity to have my world off kilter). My anxiety was a little amplified because I started watching 2 new girls today and that's always a trying time and moreover until school starts, I'll have six kiddos under six three of the days he's gone. I think that's kind of an insane undertaking under the best of circumstances, but with Steve gone....

Anyway, I"m counting Friday as day one of my journey through single parenthood. It was fairly uneventful, actually, and that was a good thing. Did some school shopping for Kailin and then settled in to wait for my friend Katie to arrive. She was due to bring me 30lbs of frozen blueberries I'd ordered and we have a monthly yoga lesson together (she is studying to be a yoga instructor and stays with us once a month to attend class). Unfortunately, Katie's arrival brought the realization that I'd wrongly assumed that the 30lbs would come in a horizontal box. Not so much. The box didn't fit in my freezer in any orientation, so I was madly scooping blueberries into bags and containers before they thawed (they were individually frozen and I wanted to keep them that way), when Katie came in and announced that she'd just figured out that her suitcase didn't make the trip with her. She is short and petite and I am...NOT. Borrowing clothes was an impossibility so I sent her off to our 24 hour Walmart for replacements. Thankfully, all situations were handled and everyone came out relatively unscathed. No yoga this month, but at least I still have the frozen blueberries and she didn't have to attend class naked. High hopes for Saturday!

Lights, camera, CHEEEEEEEEE!

We missed Colby's two year portraits as a result of a botched session at Portrait Innovations, poor scheduling on my part, his surgery, and then additional poor scheduling on my part. Kailin was due for her four year portraits and I was at my last Friday off for the foreseeable future (I started watching two new kids today and they're five day a week kids). On Thursday last week I attempted to schedule a portrait session with our local Sears (as my other choices were much further away and I wanted to be sure to get the kids down at a reasonable time so that we could all see Steve off on his big trip) for Friday morning. No go. NOTHING open. "Okay, I'm alone all week with the kids so I'll grab something for after 4 next week", I thought. Not so much. NOTHING available. They had a 5:15 appointment that day, so I snagged it and then started throwing clothes in the laundry for the kids.

Colby's not much of a smiler lately so I wasn't very optimistic about what we'd capture, but figured it's still documenting him as he is right now and went for it anyway. Of course, as children will do anytime they're given the opportunity, he proved me to be a liar. He was so cooperative and at least somewhat smiley. I'll take it. We got some good pictures and I had Kailin put her beloved "Whitey" in some of them and got Colby with the ever present "Kiki". The last time I tried to take their picture together was a disaster and the time before that (last summer) the best we got was one of them sort of near each other and sort of smiling. I'm pleased with the results overall, and will head back to Sears again.

The only thing that displeased me greatly is that they've finally discovered that the CD they used to sell you for $19.99 is worth a lot more than that and it now starts at $130 and comes down in price according to how many portraits you buy. It's still worth it in the end, but good grief that was some sticker shock!!

The formatting here kind of stinks, but I'm done with trying to fix it!!

Happy Birthday!

I can't believe Kailin turned four today!!

I'm really hoping she had a good birthday. I let her have "tiny cookies" cereal for breakfast, then we headed off to the county fair (she liked the animals okay, but Colby fell IN LOVE with the pigs and was nearly equally enamored with the sheep and only slightly less so with the horses. The cows fell out of favor for pooping everywhere....) where our little daredevil rode the rides, squealing with joy no matter what kind it was - the wilder the better! After a cat nap in the car, she tooled around in her new Fisher Price Power Wheels Arctic Cat for a little bit, enjoyed a showing of "Letter Factory" and then was surprised with a giant bounce house (we rented it for tomorrow's birthday party) followed by the coup de gras - dinner from "the Big M supper club" and then more bouncing. She is SOUND asleep now as I write this.

I have a lot of reflections about this past year, but they're mostly the same old Mom reflections about how she's grown and all the new things she can do that she couldn't manage last year - and there are a lot of them. But mostly this year as I tucked her in and listened to her giggle insanely in her overtired state about "don't let the bed bugs bite, bite, bite" I thought about her birthparents. I always do on her birthday and on our adoption day and sometimes on holidays. I thought about how her laugh would be the same if she were living in China, but I wondered what things her birthparents would have taught her that I haven't and what I might've taught her that they wouldn't have. And maybe some things are the same. I like to hope that they'd have taught her to love and respect her family and to care for others and be thankful for all that she has. I hope they'd have been patient and kind with her (even though I don't always feel that I am). And I'm sorry for the system that means they can never know this wonderful, fiery, fiercely loyal little girl who I have the privilege and the blessing to call my daughter. They gave me such a gift on this day and for that I will always be deeply indebted to them.

Biscuit on, tootie too

Kailin's been singing a little song for about a week now. I'm not sure if she heard it somewhere or if it's an amalgamation of things she's heard or if she truly made it up. It is simple - "Biscuit on, tootie too" and it's sung as if the tootie too is a result of the Biscuit on - similar to "Fish on! Reel it in!" but much more gentle. So I'm not sure if it's "tootie two" like two tooties or if it's "tootie too" like tootie in addition to the biscuit being on. On what? I don't know. Just on. I'm not inclined to ask her about it because I'm a little afraid she'll stop singing it if I do. It's a sweet little song and I enjoy hearing it when the mood strikes her. Of course I'm just as likely to hear Jingle Bells or We Wish You a Merry Christmas, but I'll take what I can get!

I'm going to count to ten....

Colby counted to ten last night at dinner! It was out of the blue and sounded like this.....
waaaaaaahhhnnnn, tuuuuuuuuuuuue, feeeee, fo, fi, six, semmet, eight, niiiiii, TEN!

We were both surprised and amused by it and I wanted to jot it down before I forget when it happened.

In other numbers news, we have about nine little tiny zucchini on our plant, one teeny tiny little pepper, and our first pea blossoms! I'm such a proud veggie mama. Ha ha ha. The tomatoes are really starting to take off as are the beans. I'm so excited for our garden and for all the yummy fresh produce we'll have in the not too distant future!

Hi, Morny!

Colby's still making us giggle on a regular basis with his 2 year old outlook on the world. I love nothing more than to be greeted by the endearing phrase, "Hi, Morny!" when I go in to get him from his crib. I really wish I could let you hear it because he says it in a very particular way. It's not "HIGH Morny!" in an Irish and sort of descriptive way. It's almost as if he's talking to the morning instead of me - "Hi, morny - nice to meet you!" would be a better way to think of it. Of course in typical mom fashion I've ruined it all up for myself by making him say it 900 times a day in an effort to share his cuteness with others. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson with "meats" but I guess not and now it is much rarer to hear him say it as the greeting of the day.

Meats have evolved a bit (and no, this is not a culinary post). He's (somewhat sadly from my point of view) now able to say pants, but apparently "pants" is just to plain for him. Instead, he's determined that any item of clothing applied below the waist (other than socks or his diaper) are "pants on". However, it doesn't just apply to putting the pants on. For instance, if you were taking them off then you'd have "pants on off". It's really more of a one word thing - "pantson off". Only logical, right?

Colby is his sister's shadow these days - and I mean that to the fullest extent of the word. Tuesday they were both sitting on the porch for disobeying us repeatedly. Steve and I were about 6 feet away spreading the last of the mulch into our established flower bed. Kailin (in her infinite repertoire of inventive ways to try to outwit us) got up to come over and ask if they could get up yet (because obviously walking over would lead us to believe that "oh heck, she's up already anyway, sure, go ahead and get up"). I told her now and she returned to her seat. Having heard the answer, but being unable to overcome his need to do what she does, up popped Colby to ask the very same question. What made it cute is that he already knew the answer, so immediately after the question left his lips, he did an about face and went back and sat down. Steve and I couldn't stop laughing and we let them up and off they went.

It seems that the two of them are either at each other's throats lately or being so sweet to each other that I can hardly stand it. Either way I love seeing their relationship blossom as they are able to do more things together.

Oops!

Well, not oops really. I wanted to post some pictures of my finished vegetable garden, but I thought the last post was a little picture heavy, so here they are. Finished without the trellises and then finished with trellises (for tomatoes, squash, peas, and eggplant) installed.

I'm hoping to use this as a photographic journal of our progress, so skip the garden entries if you're only interested in news about the kids. Ha ha ha.

It turns out that a few friends of mine are also trying square foot gardening this year, so that was a fun thing to find out. I also learned that a friend of a friend has done it for 9 years and loves it, so that was very heartening to hear!!

Square Foot Garden

I've been dying to put in a vegetable garden ever since we owned a house and got as far as buying the seeds when we lived in Brown Deer, but then we moved and then we had Kailin and then and then and then. Enough! So this was the year!

We planned to do an inground garden initially and then decided to do a raised bed garden and then just before we began construction, my sister-in-law told me that they were also doing a garden and were following the Square Foot method. I did a little reading and fell in love! There are lots of things I love about the method, but the ones that I find the most appealing are the logic of not planting in rows, the seed saving technique of planting just a few seeds at the appropriate spacing instead of planting all along a row and then thinning out 80% of them. I like that I can grow lots of different things in a smaller space and stagger the planting so that I don't have too much ready at one time. I also love that it doesn't use soil (not that I object to soil in general), but instead uses a mixture of vermiculite (a naturally occurring mineral), compost, and peat moss. The effect of this mix is a great environment for plants and seeds to grow, but also one that remains loose and friable. So no tilling - ever. AND no weed seeds in the soil (to begin with), so the only weeding you should have to do is from whatever blows in to your garden (although here, that could be significant... ha ha ha).

The kids got into the act and Colby helped Steve build the boxes - 6 4'x4' cedar boxes. Both kids helped to dump and smooth the "dirt" and Kailin was VERY excited about helping me plant!! Our plan is to grow beans, peas, tomatoes (6 varieties of Heirloom tomatoes and 2 varieties of cherry type tomatoes (one red and one yellow)), peppers, eggplant, acorn squash, zucchini, yellow bent-neck squash, patty-pan squash, beets, swiss chard, cucumbers (slicing and pickling), and some herbs. I think that's it, anyway. Sounds like a lot when it's all written out - and I'm okay with the idea that we may not have success with all of our crops, but I feel like it's manageable since I don't have to be out there weeding every day. We'll see how things go!

Mr. Green Jeans

Okay, maybe not Mr. Green Jeans....we have undertaken some gardening and lawn beautification projects this year. We've been meaning to add a bed along the front of our house for some time and now that we're officially staying here for the foreseeable future, this was the year to do it. I spent some time mapping it out on graph paper and choosing and ordering plants. I okayed it with the boss and then we got rid of (er...LET the kids have a visit with Steve's parents) for a weekend and set about removing the sod from the new bed area. Let me just say that I thought it was a lot of work to get grass to GROW on our lawn - well, removing it was 10 times worse!! Luckily for me, I only had to actually remove the sod a couple of times while Steve was running a load of "waste" to the local mulch/soil supply yard. I did get the job of loosening all of the soil, though - and that was no fun task, either. It was fun, though, to have muscles aching from use and know that I'd done an honest day's work!

We were very blessed during the weekend - first by some friends who graciously loaned us their trailer which allowed us to haul our topsoil and mulch ourselves -saving us a couple hundred dollars in delivery costs, and then by a neighbor who mentioned that they'd gotten mulch pricing from a local place that was very similar to the price we'd gotten from a place 20 miles away and finally by the the owners of the local mulch place who very very graciously allowed us to dump our sod in their dirt pile when we learned that the village recycling center (which does normally accept yard waste) didn't want it. When we went back 2 weeks later to get the field stone for the border, we saw an old stump sitting up on a wall and inquired as to whether or not they'd sell it to us. We have an old piece of driftwood in our other bed (not in the picture) and thought the stump would make a nice complement. To our surprise, they called to let us know we could have it! They got a batch of cookies for the sod and a batch of brownies for the stump. I think everyone ended up happy!! Unfortunately, I think we'll have to wait til next year for a "finished" picture since most of the plants I ordered are just babies and will need a year or so to reach their full glory, but I'm very pleased to say that thus far I think almost everything I planted is either growing strong or has emerged (I put in a lot of lily bulbs). It was a really fun project all in all and I'm really excited to see everything start to come up and even more excited for next year when I can figure out where we have gaps and fill them in with new and interesting plants!

Two drops and a toot...

I've been putting Colby on the potty at night before bed. I don't expect him to do anything, but I would like him to get used to sitting there. His usual routine is this.... Remove "meats". Remove diaper. Declare diaper a "blue one" (EVERYTHING is blue in his opinion). Pad across hall. Sit on potty. Immediately look down and say, "nope!" Squeeze out a toot. Giggle a little and proclaim "done!"

Two nights ago, somewhere between "nope" and "done" I saw two little drops fall into the toilet. I went into full proud mommy mode and was praising him up and down. Kailin wanted to see the pee pee in the toilet. Uhhhh....you can't see two drops, darling. So far no repeats, but hey, it's progress!!

Three wonderful years

I feel like a bad mom for not posting this on Friday when I intended to. It's been a busy weekend of landscaping with the kids at Steve's parents' house (I planned it without thinking about what Friday was).

Friday marked 3 years since I first held my wonderful, beautiful daughter in my arms. She is everything I ever imagined her to be and then some. She is vivacious and tenacious, and she wears her heart on her sleeve just like her mom. She is funny and sassy. I adore the shape her eyes make when she smiles, and the way that they light up and glisten. She is such a blessing in my life, and even when she's busy making me nuts and asking her five thousandth question of the day or writing "HA" on the ottoman or "X" on the couch, I am going to strive to remember what a blessing she truly is and how privileged I am to be her Mom.

As I watched her stuff another dumpling into her mouth with a giant smile on her face tonight, I laughed and thought of all the ways she's changed through these three years. She's gone from a baby who couldn't even sit up in those first days to a little girl who lets nothing stand in her way of living life to it's fullest. So happy anniversary, my beautiful baby girl, you have changed and blessed my life in more ways than I ever dreamed!

Dude

We went for a walk at the State Park a couple weeks ago. It was a lovely day and I had the kids in capris (okay, I don't know what you call boys' capris. Surely not capris, but they were definitely not shorts and certainly not pants that were too short - so????) and short sleeved shirts. As a last thought I grabbed jackets for both of them in case it was cooler by the lake.

Both kids had sunglasses on in the car, and by the time we reached the park, Kailin had talked Colby into switching with her. That left Kailin with the potentially passable as unisex red pair with the grey stripes and Colby with the most definitely feminine green pair with tiny flowers. He didn't care - so neither did we.

We got just a small piece down the path when it became clear that the jackets were going to be necessary. Regrettably, all I'd been able to find for Colby was a tan jacket. More regrettably, when I put it on him, I found it to be short. Even more regrettably, it and his tan pants clearly did not match and he had on grey socks (he'd stepped in smeared strawberries with his white ones at lunch and I'd had no choice). Combined with the girls' sunglasses he looked like, well, a dork. I said to Steve, "Look at our son. He looks like such a..." and then Kailin interjected, "Dude. He looks like a dude, Mom." And look like a dude he did!!

No wet meat!

Colby can't say pants. I'm not sure why. I'm not even sure (truthfully) if I've blogged about it before. Anyway, pez he can say, pizza he can say (although it used to be beeba), but pants and please elude him still. Please comes out "meeeeeee" and pants....well....pants come out "meat". Every time. Meat.

I got him out of bed on Saturday morning and asked if he'd wet through. He looked right at me, shook his head, and declared. "No...wet....meat!!!" He was so serious that I had to stifle my laugh. Then I secretly reported to Steve and we laughed in the corner over it!

The day before yesterday he put a new spin on it. He declared "poopy meat" several times throughout the day. I am glad he's now letting me know that he needs a change (because it both signifies the beginning of a desire (I hope) to potty train and also because he's starting to string more words together), the thought of poopy meat made me envision a breaking news story about some kind of e. coli outbreak within the confines of my house or something. Anyway, I laughed in the corner again.

The last Colby story for the day is that I put him on the phone with my mom the other night. I laughed out loud when I heard that his whole end of the conversation was going to be "yup. yup. yup. yup. yup. yup. yuv you, BYE!" What a silly little goose.

Gotta just love him.

A little run-in with Johnny Law....

Last Friday was going to be beautiful, so I thought I'd take the kids to the zoo. Unfortunately, I failed to remember that it was the last day of Spring Break for about four counties worth of kids. As we approached the zoo we came to a halt amidst tons of other cars (mostly minivans) obviously headed for the zoo as well. As we sat in line to get into the zoo and I thought about just how zooey it was going to be, it came to me that maybe Kailin would be willing to change our plans. I didn't want to upset her, but I didn't think the kids would even be able to see any of the animals with that much of a crowd. I suggested that we go surprise Nai Nai (my mom) at work and then see if she wanted to join us for a picnic and some fun at the park. Kailin loved the idea and off we went. My mom was truly surprised and showed off her grandkids in true form.

I told her we'd meet her back at her house and I guess Kailin overheard me. She said, "Hey Nai Nai - you wanna race?" while making her eyebrows go up and down real fast. I laughed SO hard!! I snapped the picture above while we waited for her to come home.

We had a little lunch and were off to the playground. The kids had a blast and Kailin was asleep by the time we hit the freeway to come home. We stopped off at the grocery store to get a few things - and some supplies for a picnic I was planning for us for Saturday.

On the rural highway I take to get to our house, less than five miles from home, I saw a police officer headed toward me and glanced down at the speedometer. Then I saw him pull to the side of the road (lights off) and whip a u-ey (lights now on). I knew immediately it was for me. Of course Kailin started in right away asking what was going on....so I explained that Mommy was going too fast and the police officer was going to come and talk to us. Thankfully, he was a great guy and only gave me a warning (10 over in a 55mph zone). He gave the kids police badges and sent us on our way. I've (knock on wood) never had a speeding ticket, so I was really thankful for the warning - and for the reminder to pay attention and protect those kiddos I love so much!!

Egg! More Egg!!! Open!!!!!!

Okay, it's a little late.... I was waiting until the pictures were on this computer, and then the week just got away from me.

It was surely an Easter to remember. We all began the day (and all unwillingly so) at 3am. Colby awoke screaming (I think he'd been laying on his stomach and right now that is not a good option). By the time I got him changed and settled he'd woken Kailin. She immediately began interrogating me regarding whether we were going to church or Nai Nai's church and if we went to Nai Nai's church would Nai Nai be there or would she be at our church and were we going to Nai Nai's house after church and would the Easter bunny be there.... so I told her we could discuss it all in the morning, it was the middle of the night and she should go back to sleep. If only.... the kids stayed awake and busied themselves bickering over which color stars they should have (their turtle night light offers 3 options) until Steve went in and turned it off entirely which elicited MANY cries of protest. Then Colby was entirely convinced that he had lost Kiki or Froggy (which he pronounces "FRO-Gee") when in fact upon closer inspection he had one clenched in each little fist. Then he banged on the wall (directly behind my head) for awhile. Then I think I did actually doze for about 15 minutes and then my alarm went off at 5:30 and it was time to get up. I showered and went to get the kids up so they could see their Easter baskets. Lo and behold, Colby was asleep. I decided to let him sleep (as much as the mean mom in me wanted to wake his sorry butt up) awhile longer.

Kailin loved her Easter baskets (one from the big bunny and one from Steve's parents), and the pinwheel was her favorite. I hustled her through breakfast and took her back upstairs to spray her off in the shower. Colby woke up and was not any too happy about it. I got him dressed and sent him downstairs with Steve. I could hear the call of "TIH-TAC!!!!!!!!" from downstairs signalling that he'd gotten into his Easter baskets as well. I had Steve grab some shots while we girls finishing dolling ourselves up.

We attended church at my "home church" in Waukesha. It was so nice to go back and sing the same songs I sang every Easter for the first 20 or so years of my life - and hear the trumpets blast as we shouted good tidings of "He is risen!" The kids behaved pretty well in church and then it was off to Nai Nai's.

The kids had an absolute blast hunting for Easter eggs in the yard. Colby took to it right away and although I told Kailin to make sure to leave some for her brother, I guess I need not have. Not only did he keep up (unless one broke open - then we had a chorus of "boking!! Egg boking!!!" followed by a harried effort to rescue the contents from the grass), but Kailin repeatedly picked up an egg and then ran it over to her brother. Considering the lack of rest we had, it was nothing short of a MIRACLE that we had no fights of any kind during the event and I absolutely reveled in hearing Kailin delightedly shout "Another egg! I see more!" and Colby's sweet little voice plaintively calling, "Egg!!! More Egg!!! Open!!!!" I could just have scooped both of them up and smooshed them.

We had a wonderful Easter dinner followed by naps for the kids (wish there'd been some for the adults!), some more play time, and then we headed home. Everyone had far too much sugar - but if not on Easter, then what better day is there?

I'm so blessed to have a Savior whose death and resurrection made this wonderful day possible - and blessed to have such a wonderful family to have shared it with.

One year ago....

One year ago in this very moment (if you factor in the time change), I was headed downstairs to meet our agency's liaison to head to Chung Yi to pick up Colby. My stomach was turning and I was nervous as heck. I didn't know what the rest of the day would bring - nevermind thinking about the next whole year!! Tonight, I sit here without my stomach turning and in fact feeling warm and content (I was cold as heck last year at this time because we didn't take any warm clothes and it was cold and rainy for days on end!). I just peeked in on a beautiful sleeping boy, and decided to sit down and count my blessings. I'm so grateful that God led us down the path of adoption and that He led us to Taiwan and to accept Colby's referral. I'm so grateful for my happy, jolly, joyful little boy - sassy mouth and bad attitude (as of late) and all. He's tender and gentle and caring. He is loving and funny and silly and playful. He's all that I could ever want or hope for in a child and I love him more than he will ever know. I can't believe it's been a year - it seems like a heartbeat and then again I feel like he's always been here. We are having Chinese Feast tomorrow to celebrate our family - and I'm sure that Captain Noodle and Dumpling Girl will make their appearances. How very very blessed I am!