I don't.... Houston, we have lift off!!

For the longest time, Colby's been telling me "I nebber use the potty, Mommy." I didn't push because in the experience of my friends, it's futile and maddening to try to force a child who is not ready to toilet train. I did, however, offer at opportune times. And I always got the less than desirable "nebber" response. Then a week ago Thursday, Colby woke up dry. Even Kailin has only woken up dry a precious few number of times. Both kids are very deep sleepers, so I am not surprised. I knew his bladder had to be full, so I plunked him down on the potty and I got "Mom, I don't." He doesn't use the phrase "I can't" (I prefer the kids to say "I need help" not "I can't" but he just plain doesn't seem to know the word "can't" so he substitutes "don't" and it's pretty cute and also quite funny.

I told him that if he wasn't going to use the potty I was going to put his nighttime diaper back on. He prefers the pictures on his daytime diaper, so he was none too happy with me, but I figured the nighttime diaper was already wasted and I wasn't about to waste another one since he was inevitably going to go soon and fill the darned diaper. I tried hard not to be the least bit annoyed by any of it, but I kind of failed. I don't think I portrayed it outwardly, though.

The following morning I intended to put the kids in the tub first thing as we were planning on being out that evening on a date and were headed off to the Lemm's for the weekend on Saturday morning. Colby woke up dry again and although I have come to grips with the fact that all little boys will pee in the tub a little, I wasn't about to bathe both kids in an all night bladder full of it!! I plunked his little nudie back on the toilet and told him he wasn't getting in the bath until he peed. (It was true enough - if he hadn't gone on the toilet my intention was to bathe Kailin and then just shower him separately...)

Whether it was the combination of the running water and the full bladder, the threat of missing out on bath, or just God's gift to me I'll never know, but Colby said, "Oh, okay!!" and commenced emptying his entire bladder. It's like the switch had been thrown and he suddenly moved from solely being able to make a toot on the potty to knowing what made the pee come out. (sorry for the graphic nature of this post, but there's just no way around it) I'd been telling him that if he peed on the potty I'd get him some Diego pull ups and so after praising him up and down for his feat, I went that very day and got them. We haven't really looked back. I was sure we'd be back in diapers and we occasionally are for part of a day to drive home the point that he needs to go in the potty, but he's far more potty trained than I expected 8 days in!

We're still working on doing #2 in the potty, though. I was so amused on Tuesday this week when he ran his little buns into the kitchen and screamed at me "I need to POOP!!!" I hustled him off to the potty, got him on, and then he looked at me and shook his head and said definitively, "I don't." It continued to be funny to me the other seven times it happened that morning. "I don't." Not, "I don't go poop now" or "I don't need to"; just "I don't". I'm a little disappointed that he "still doesn't" more often than not, but I do know that #2 comes later for a lot of kids and truthfully, if it had to be one switch or the other, I'll take the control of #1 for now and we'll work on #2.

I'll post again when the glorious day comes that "he does". Ha ha ha. My little man is growing up!

lesson learned...

One of the many, many things I learned through this cancer journey is this - for all the kind deeds you (or someone else may do) it takes only one wicked act to undo them all. I say this for two reasons - one is that I was literally in awe of the power that one (albeit repeated) act of unkindness (is that even a word?) had over me to undo the very warmth and fulfillment that so many acts of selfless kindness had instilled. It made me really angry. Angry at the person who continually amazed me with her unwillingness to be kind, angry at myself for letting her (and the results of her action/inaction) make me angry, and angry that I allowed it to deflate me despite all the wonderful, caring actions of others. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through - to be so aware of my emotions and desire so much not to have them and yet seem powerless (I think from sheer exhaustion all around - mentally, emotionally, and physically) to overcome. I prayed a lot about it - and often. I know my prayers were not unanswered because the whole experience has caused me to grow - and that's the second reason I post this. I had an aha moment - an epiphany of sorts - although it was common sense really... it came to me just outside of a McDonald's drive through (I stopped to get a Diet Coke - one of my few delights during my ridiculous low iodine diet)... I just plain had to get a hold on the I want to feel. I had to turn the proverbial other cheek and just put my foot down on letting someone else's bad attitude and lack of concern control me. I know - intuitive, but before that moment I just didn't have it in me to do it. I suddenly did and I took a break from singing a Christmas carol to thank God right then and there for the opportunity to know the difference and recognize it. I want to look back (often) and remember that I should take every opportunity I can to be kind to someone not only because it is the right thing to do, but because you never know when someone has been brought to their emotional knees by an unkind act and your generosity or sensitivity or listening ear just may be the thing that causes them to get up off their knees and remember that there are kind and loving people in the world. I don't mean this to be a soapbox - I just mean it to be a reminder to myself that every single thing I do impacts someone in some way and I would much rather lift someone up than knock them down. 'Nuff said.

Daddy's day with the kids...

I know that I've been a bad, bad blogger lately. I wanted to post the following email I received from Steve last weekend while I was in isolation. It is a true testament to his humorous side and also to the fact that he is a fabulous Daddy! Enjoy!!

Dear Blog -

Someday I'll give you a name, but for now, you will have to be Blog. The day started great and crappy at the same time - I do mean crappy - not literally, physically. I will explain in a moment. First the kids slept (or at least were quiet) until 7:30 (this proves that God does exist). We all got up and I decided to bail on Cricket class due to time and a headache. I eyed up the beer in the fridge to kill the pain (headache and kids....just kidding Blog) but went for Tylenol - figured it would do double duty and help to comfort the "the boys" as well. After breakfast the kids played, dog puked, kids played some more, dog crapped in the house, and the kids played some more. The kids played great and I managed to clean the kitchen. Blog - I don't know what you did with my real kids, but you can keep them and I'm keeping the two you left me. Then we moved onto cookie baking. The kids had a blast but the cookies look like they've been blasted. The cookie dough turned out more like cake batter. I should have just tried adding more flour to thicken up the batter but the damn chemist in me had to stick to stick to the damn recipe. Oh well, wish me better luck next time Blog.

I decided that since the kids were being so good that I would treat them for lunch and made a Daddy Special. A peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich!! For desert they each got to try half of a famous "Daddy's Blasted Cookies". To my amazement, there was complete silence as they were consumed and disappointment expressed that they only got half. Listen Blog, I only gave them half because they were the size of my frigg'n head. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit, but they were damn large due to the cake batter consistency.

During changing Colby's diaper, Kailin asked what a bottle was that was on the changing table. I said, "It's baby oil" and her reply was "Is this what we give babies when they squeak?" Gotta love child logic!! Then they went down for nap - even Kailin willingly. Again Blog - you are NOT getting these kids back!! Of course she came down 6 minutes and 12 seconds later to tell me that she slept already. She willingly went back up and to sleep. Just what the hell happened to my kids Blog, what did you do to them!! They woke up and been pleasantly treated to an afternoon of shows.

Ok Blog, off to cook supper - hopefully I won't blast the hell of it!! Until next time.

Blessed

There is a great community here where we live, and some of it is presently shoveling my driveway. It's a wonderful sight - two of my good friends, and as I type this I can see another on her way over - and their kids - all out with shovels clearing my driveway. I HATE that I can't do it myself, and it was difficult for me to ask a friend for the help, but in humbling myself to ask, I am rewarded by being filled up and reveling in seeing how one good deed has snowballed (forgive the bad pun if you will) into six or eight (the kids aren't much help -speaking for my daughter at least, who is out there "shoveling" the snow directly back onto already shoveled areas). Bless my friend's ten year old son who was actively excited to shovel for us and his mother for raising him to love to serve. She is out there with him along with her 5 year old, my 4 year old, my neighbor and her 6 year old (and 2 year old), and another neighbor and her 4 year old. They all have shovels and are working as a team, old fashioned community style to clear our driveway. This is just one shining example of how we have been blessed in these months with gifts too countless to number. Kailin needed some dry mittens just now and I poked my head out the door to holler another "thank you" and my friend said, "You must be a wonderful woman - look at all these people who came out to help." She's shoveling my driveway and I'm the wonderful one? I'm so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful circle of friends and family always, but particularly in times like these. What better gift in life could I ask for?