I'm going to be fine and that is the most important thing. I have thyroid cancer and will have my thyroid removed, have some radioactive iodine (maybe I'll even glow in the dark!), and then take a thyroid replacement medication. The surgery has a pretty easy recovery and once they get my meds regulated (that part could give me a few months of varying degrees of exhaustion from what I hear), I'll be good as new. Perhaps a little "bride of Frankenstein"-ish in the neck region for awhile until my scar fades, but that I can handle.
It's a catchy title, but in truth I HATE the "big C" euphemism. It's cancer. It's ugly, and that's what it is. Call a spade a spade, right? (Really it annoys the living daylights out of me, so here's fair warning against using it!)
The real reason for posting this is because I've been just awed at how much support I've received in the six days since my diagnosis. People from church have offered meals, prayers, and one person near to my heart offered ANYTHING including letting me call and just yell at her! Friends and family have offered to make meals, pray, help watch the kids, clean our house, clean our toilets (I think that one shows a particular degree of devotion) and a college friend even offered to "go cueball" for me in support (although I will thankfully not be losing my hair). As someone who lacks self esteem and has failed miserably at ever overcoming that problem, I'm so lifted up by all of the support everyone has offered. -- That people are so willing to go out of their way to help me fills me up in a way that I know I could never find the words to express. It gives me confidence and I know that it will help in my healing. So thank you, thank you in more ways than you will ever know.
My other reason for posting this is to marvel at God's plan. I've said for a long time that everything happens for a reason, that God has a plan for each of us, and I've truly believed that. I've struggled to live my words in times of deep hurt, but I've taken a lot of comfort in those same times in knowing that we do not suffer needlessly - that our God is a loving God who never asks more of us than He knows we can bear. I've also at times wondered why Steve and I were in such a hurry to have kids after we got married. I know that a lot of it stemmed from wanting to be relatively young parents and also knowing that we'd probably have trouble conceiving, I wanted the show on the road as soon as possible. That said, I think I would've enjoyed some time to just be a couple - a few years to do some traveling or frivolous staying up into the night watching movies.... but then again I know that changing our timing AT ALL would have resulted in us having children different from the ones we have now. And that part I would never want to change. I can't believe how remarkably God matched our kids with us. Kailin IS me. She couldn't be more me if she shared my genes - her emotions are irrevocably on her sleeve and they run high; she is feisty, tenacious, and loving. Colby is so much like Steve - so very laid back, but so caring -- selfless and devoted - yet ALL boy. I do have a point here and it is this. If we'd waited much longer, we'd still be waiting (China is only now referring the end of April 2006 - in the three years we've been HOME, they've not yet moved one year past our log-in date). And China doesn't allow parents who've had cancer to adopt. Although maybe we'd be grandfathered in, my guess is that we'd have to be updating medical forms all along. Either way, I feel like the question of why we pressed on so early in our marriage has been answered for me. There are so many times when you have to just trust in God's plan when only He knows the whys behind it, so it's kind of special to me to feel (whether it's the truth or not) like I got to peek and see the answer key - even if just for a moment.
I've been so blessed to have peace with this, truly. I think that my excellent prognosis has a lot to do with it, but I also have a peaceful acceptance and two doctors whom I trust. This is a bump in my road and a call to remember how precious each day is and to be thankful for all of the blessings in my life -- and there are many.
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