The second time around...

I thought that the major difference in our adoption trip this time (other than country) was that we do not have a guide this time. I guess that probably is the MAJOR difference, but as the date draws near, I'm noticing lots of other differences as well. I've had "stuff" in a suitcase since Kailin stayed with Steve's parents for a few days last month, but I decided that the time was nigh to examine the stuff more closely a see what, if any, stuff we still needed to buy. Also paramount was dividing the stuff between the two suitcases we will carry (we are allowed 2 each (as compared to 1 each weighing no more than 35lbs when we went to China!) weighing up to 70lbs/piece, but we're "donating" one suitcase to donations from our agency to Chung Yi and another to taking a pack 'n play that our agency is donating to the hotel we're staying in). The beauty of this selfless 'giving of suitcase space' is that we then have two whole suitcases worth of space coming home for sovenirs! As some of you no doubt remember...when we went to Vermont for our honeymoon in chilly (read -17 without the wind chill) January, we foolishly packed his and hers suitcases only to find that his didn't arrive and he went without clothes (involuntarily) for 3 days. We've learned our lesson well!!

At any rate, I laid out the stuff I had amassed and then assessed the situation. I carefully divided the clothes between the two suitcases, noting that I had all of Colby's packed and that I needed to add a few things to my stash. Steve's stash was (surprise surprise) missing. (In keeping with honest reporting, he has now put his clothes into the suitcases.) It seemed that our medical bag needed attention, so I left my post briefly to see if there was anything in our closet that could be added to it. FOOLISH MOVE. In the time it took me to check the directions on the Immodium and find a box full of waterproof bandaids, my darling daughter had gleefully combined the contents of the suitcases back into one giant mass.

Take two.... I'm sure you're wondering when the heck I'm going to get to the differences between this trip and last and stop boring you with the details of what is or is not in our suitcases. Here it comes....wait for it.....wait for it...... I packed the rice cereal and baby food (of which we don't anticipate him to eat much - we are under the assumption that having been in foster care, he's probably eating a lot of "regular food" already.). When we went to get Kailin, I opened the box of rice cereal and carefully divided it between two ziploc bags (carefully labeled) because WHAT IF THE SUITCASE WITH THE RICE CEREAL GETS LOST?!?!?!?!?! This time, it's still in it's box in a bag with ALL of the baby food and a brief thought regarding it's general safety. Colby won't starve if our supply of rice cereal is lost. We'll have bigger problems than that if a suitcase doesn't show up! The same holds true for the bottles and liners, diapers, and toys - no longer are they carefully divided and counted. They are now indiscriminately smashed between layers of clothes in whatever suitcase they fell into when I was dealing it all out. We made sure, last time, to carry two changes of clothes for Kailin in our carry-on in case ALL of our luggage was lost. This time, we realize, the problems will be much larger than the possibility of a naked child if our luggage is lost! I suspect that our trip through the airports, despite the added weight of a laptop, will be eased by this more laid back approach to what we NEED in the carry-ons.

Another difference has been that I didn't worry a bit about the clothes we took when we went to get Kailin. We'd had no update at all on her - just her 5 month measurements (where they claimed she already weighed 17lbs... HA!) and I packed happily and in blissful ignorance of any possibility that we'd arrive and find that none of her clothes fit. That's not been the case with packing for Colby and we HAVE HAD updates - reliable and recent ones. Yet I'm finding myself very nervous that the clothes we're taking will all be shockingly too large. I hope not, but again - in the grand scheme of things, being swallowed up by his clothes for one week of his life is certainly not the worst thing in the world. Definitely not a travesty. Shoes are also evading me. We were fairly certain that Kailin wouldn't be crawling at 9.5 mos and definitely not walking. We are fairly certain that Colby IS crawling, and may even be walking - so the need for shoes is more concrete this time. I have NO idea what size he'll be and Asian feet seem to be disproportionately wide (or at least the feet of the Asian kids I know are), so I'm hesitant to take a stab at both the length and width of his feet. The Robeez are coming and we'll have to find him some shoes at a market if we need something beyond that. A mom's got to worry about something, though - right?

I'm sure all of the experienced parents out there will be chuckling to themselves thinking that everyone knows that you're more laid back with your second child than your first. I know that, too. I've joked about it with friends and observed it first hand. I figured I'd be more laid back with Colby than I was with Kailin - heck - even looking back at some of the things that had us so worked up in China now seem silly to me and I find it a little absurd that we worried about them at all. This is not to say that I'm supposing that we'll have no hair raising moments with Colby or that it'll all be smooth sailing and old hat. We'll still be navigating in a foreign country where we don't speak the language, getting to know a 14 month old who will be much more in tune with what he wants or needs than our 9.5 month old was, who will likely grieve more for his loss than Kailin did, and learning all about how parenting a boy is different from parenting a girl. I do think we'll be coming at it from a different angle and in a more relaxed state of mind.

I bet I'll look back at this post someday and laugh. I wonder how long it'll be before I can do that!

We're exactly two weeks away from holding our baby boy for the first time, but it still seems far away. I think it won't be really real until we're in our hotel room with the pack 'n play set up - just like it wasn't real for Kailin until we walked into our Changsha hotel room and there was a crib set up. The trip is getting to be another story, though - stay tuned for frenzied posts this week about how much I have left to do and how little time I feel I have to do it in!