Let the family fun begin!

I had a rare day off on Friday. I don't take a whole lot of days off, and it's even rarer that both families I sit for have their kids gone on the same day and I have a furlough day so to speak. Anyway, we were planning to spend the weekend in the Dells with our friends the Lemms anyway, and had already planned to spend Friday night at my mom's to better facilitate the trip on Saturday, so the long and short of it is that Steve took Friday off to spend with us as a family. We talked about a few different activities, but when we realized that the day was due to be beautiful, we decided on the zoo.

Of course Thursday was the most beautiful day of last week with temperatures near 80 and loads of sun, so I didn't spend as much time preparing for the trip (and for leaving the house in some sort of acceptable state for our wonderful dog sitter) as I should have. As a result, my plans to have the car packed and ready to go for Friday morning didn't exactly work out. In the past, having a bunch (9 million) things to do and knowing that I wanted us out of the house by 9:30 would have thrown me into a tizzy and although we'd probably have left on time, I would have been stressed and probably crabby and maybe even snippy. Instead, we spent an extra hour and a half finishing up what we needed to get done and packing a lunch (which I did to be frugal but which turned out to be integral to the success of the rest of the day) and leaving with sanity and good mood intact. We wanted to stop at REI on the way and treat the kids to some water bottles they'd spotted when we went to buy our tent (big family camping outing coming up in June) recently. By the time we made it to REI both kids had fallen asleep (and subsequently woken up) and it was almost noon. Not a good combo. But if you've happened to have packed a lunch for the zoo, then you could get that right out and feed the kids in the car while your wonderful husband runs in to get the bottles. Then you have a sane husband (for not having had to drag the crabtastic kids into the store) and cheerful children as well. Double bonus. AND you don't have to stop to eat first thing when you arrive at the zoo. Chalk another one up in our favor.

We hadn't told the kids where we were going, but they both recognized the zoo entrance and were really excited (although it wasn't clear if Colby was more excited about seeing the zoo or seeing lots of buses...). We examined the flamingos at length and talked about how their knees bend opposite of ours, why they are pink, and how silly they look standing on one leg with their long necks bent backward and their heads on their backs. We toured the aviary and Kailin fell in love with the Kookaburra (and asked me to take a picture of it so that she can put it up near her bed). We made the day into a "yes day" and said yes when the kids wanted to ride on the "foot jiggler" and said yes to feeding the goats (although we later saw that the goat yard was closed), and yes to riding the train AND the carousel (IF they behaved - more on that later), and we'd already discussed getting them ice cream in the dairy complex. These family days are rare and will be rarer still come next fall when Kailin is in school M-F, so we do what we can to really enjoy them. We finally made it to the dairy complex (it's at the end of our normal route) and the kids got to see a cow being milked for the first time. Kailin was really intrigued. Colby was really not. He was far more interested in going to play in the play area. We managed both, and then trooped the kids off for ice cream. They have about 18 different flavors. Kailin was really taken with the rainbow sherbet, but chose chocolate with peanut butter cups in the end. Colby immediately chose blue moon and stuck with it.

They both enjoyed their ice cream and then it was off to ride the carousel and the train before we headed off to Nai Nai's for the night. Literally as we rounded the corner to the carousel they shut off the lights and put out the closed sign. A quick look across to the train station showed that it, too, was closed. Kailin wasn't being a brat - she was truly heartbroken and tears just streamed down her little face. It broke my heart that she was so sad and there was nothing at all I could do about it. Thankfully, she perked up when we told her we'd pay a visit to the gift shop. Although it could've been just a few degrees warmer and maybe less windy, it was a near perfect day at the zoo and full of fond memories. I was proud of both of my kids for being well behaved and very glad that we were able to get out and have some fun together.

What the kids say...

Usually it's Colby these days who is entertaining us with his interpretation of everyday words. Kailin's had a few doozies lately that were worthy of mention - mostly because they were so stinkin' cute I never want to forget them.

The kids have been earning ice cream (not sure if I've mentioned this before) in a program we started where they begin each day with 10 marbles. If they keep their marbles all day (they lose one for failing to listen when they are asked to do (or stop) something and can only earn it back by being "caught in the act" of doing something exceptionally kind for someone else), they earn a sticker. Then at varying intervals (we have a chart so it's easy for them to see what they're working toward) they earn ice cream. The first time we took them out we decided to go to Culver's as a treat. --Let them get whatever they want. Kailin picked vanilla. With nothing on it. Just vanilla. Haaaaaa!! Figures. Colby got chocolate with M&Ms. The next time, as we were on our way, I asked Kailin what she was going to get. She said "chocolate - with M&Ms". Colby said he was going to get plain chocolate. Kailin remarked that they'd make a "patterin". Steve said "huh?" and she said, "A PATTER-IN. First I got plain and my brudder got M's. Now I am getting M's and he is getting plain. That is a patter-in." I leaned over and whispered "a pattern, honey, she means a pattern..." We both chuckled.

One day during spring break (I had 6 kids under six alllll week) I let the big kids play with their Leapsters while the little ones napped. Kailin came running into the kitchen and excitedly told me that she knew how to spell "car". "C-A-R, CAR, Mom!!!!" I congratulated her and off she went. Pretty soon she came racing back in. "I can spell eggsknit, Mom! P-A-U-S-E, eggsknit!" "No, that spells 'pause', honey. I think you pressed the pause button before you ran in here." "No, Mom, it spells 'eggsknit'" "Kailin, what sound does 'eggsknit' start with?" "Eh." "Okay, so what does the first letter of the word on your screen sound like?" "P." "So do you think that is 'eggsknit'?" "Oh, no. Well then how DO you spell 'eggsknit'?" "Well what IS an 'eggsknit'?" "Mom, an eggsknit....you know, like where you go out? The eggsknit." Hee hee hee. I just love that girl.

In the night....

I've been reading a book called "Shanghai Girls" by Lisa See. It is a novel, but is historically accurate with regard to background, places, and even some names. It begins in Shanghai, China in the 1930's and follows a pair of sisters as they run from the Japanese and eventually emigrate to the United States. It follows them here, talks about what life was like in California in the early 1940's and then after China falls to the communists. It pulled me in and caused me to think a lot about Kailin's family in China. I found myself laying in bed last night, awake in the middle of the night, thinking about things. It's likely that her grandparents were alive as China went through the changes described in the book and I wonder what they were feeling, if they tried to leave and failed, chose to stay and support the communists, or felt they had no other choice. I wonder if Kailin's parents have known anything but communism, if they truly believe in it, or if they feel differently...

I'm not looking to enter into a debate about China's one child policy, the reasons behind it or the continuing consequences of it. I don't want to talk about a perceived or actual cultural bias toward boys over girls. I have opinions about all of those things and I'm not looking to change them or defend them here. There are a lot of things I won't be able to tell Kailin about her life and family in China - not for want of protecting her from tough truths, but because I simply don't know. I know that I can someday tell Kailin that she was loved. Loved enough to be left with clothes, food, and a note in a place where her mother knew she would be found. But there are other things I will never know. Did her mother travel far from her home? Was it even her mother who had to walk away from a beautiful baby or did her father do it? Had they done it before? I wonder if Kailin was a first daughter or a second daughter or a third or a fourth and I wonder if her parents made their decision together or if it went unsaid when she was born... there are so many things that I know that I will never know - that she will never know. Sometimes that's easier for me than other times. Last night I was wondering what her mother must have felt like at the moment when she left her baby and whether or not she stayed hidden someplace and waited for someone to gather the baby up. I was sad last night to the bottom of my core that she will never see the bright twinkle in Kailin's eye when she discovers something new or when she's really proud of herself. It pulled at my heart that she will never hear Kailin's raspy, tired giggle or watch her eyes crinkle up when she laughs really hard.

It's difficult to write all of this without revealing details of either child's history that are his or her own to keep, and it's difficult to write because it's hard to put words on all of my thoughts and feelings. We have one child whose mother made an adoption plan for him and whether or not she remains a part of his life is her choice. We have another child who was obviously also loved, but whose mother (or perhaps parents) had no option to remain a part of her life. I think the essence of not knowing that one piece of information is what bothers me the most and makes me most sad. I would give almost anything to be able to share with Kailin's birthmother (or family) details of how she's grown and who she has become if she wanted to know.

These sorts of things are usually foremost in my mind on Chinese holidays, on our Family Day, Kailin's birthday, and on her finding day, but reading Shanghai girls has stirred it all up in me. I am so thankful that I get to be Kailin's mom and as I was laying there thinking about our time in China and how small she was, she called out for me in the night. She'd had a bad dream and I picked up my (not so) little girl and held her tight and while I was rocking there in the night with her, I said a prayer of thanks for my beautiful daughter, a prayer of thanks for the strength and courage it took for her mother to do what she did, and a prayer for comfort and peace for all of us as we go through this life.

Red means stop

We let the kids have some mini M&Ms after dinner tonight. They were red and green (does that tell you what vintage they might be?!). Kailin immediately ate all of her red ones. Steve asked her why and she said, "Because red means stop and I don't want to stop eating these!" and then she giggled her husky, tired, hysterical giggle - the one I love the best. I love love love that little girl (and her funny logic)!

(and then Colby, who had been eating indiscriminately, immediately consumed every last one of his red ones....)

A wonderful two days...

We had a couple of really nice days last week and we did our best to get out and fully enjoy them. 60's are rare in March and they are cause for celebration - they restore our faith that spring is indeed on the way and that we again will smell warm air and the scent of the earth defrosting after a long, cold winter. On Wednesday we took a nice walk as a family (well, Colby took a ride since his attitude of late precludes him from being trusted walking as we do not have sidewalks in much of our neighborhood), and then the kids and Steve played outside while I made dinner. I couldn't resist snapping a few shots of them tooling around on their bikes (okay, the pink tricycle doesn't really belong to Colby, but it is the one he chooses at present due to it's height and ease of pedaling...). Kailin has come a LONG way since last fall. Although she still has her training wheels on, last fall she would go approximately 8" before needing to reach for Steve or me for balance and security. This year she's hard to keep track of as she cruises up and down the sidewalk with ease. I'm proud of her!
On Thursday we scrapped our walk in favor of a trip to a really awesome playground near our house. It was a surprise to the kids and they were beyond excited about it! We played and played and played. Kailin started out on the swings and Colby in the sandbox and for awhile I wasn't sure if we'd get them to play anywhere else. Then Kailin ran off to find new adventure and when she wanted to show Steve how she could go down the fireman's pole, Colby tagged along. He discovered the slides and then spent almost the entirety of the rest of our trip climbing up and going down - as fast as he could. I tried and tried to get a picture of his brilliant smile, but all I could seem to get was his shoes. And even that shot is blurred with motion. Ha ha. Kailin was big on the slides for awhile too, but instead of simply taking the stairs back up, she clambered up the rock climbing wall more times than I can count. In the end they both ended up back on the swings and in attempting to get some nice shots of them smiling, I got these artsy shots that I fell in love with. I did get the money shots, but I love these two more for some reason - maybe because they're not perfect and they are a snapshot of a split second in time and a good reminder to stop and enjoy even the tiniest moments of joy in my day.

Steve and I had a long talk one day this winter about striving to truly enjoy our kids more and spending less time trying to "get through the day" given their ages and what that means in terms of their behavior. We've been working hard at it and after our trip to the park I can say that I am truly, truly looking forward to longer days ahead and more opportunities to get out and do things as a family. To truly live our lives the whole week through and not just on the weekends, and to enjoy the kids for who they are right in this moment. Good, bad, ugly - take each day as it comes and capture every second we can with them. I know some days will be easier than others to do that and that other parts of life will get in the way sometimes, but I'm excited that we're starting a new journey and that it promises to be full of adventure - one way or another!

Up close and personal, deer...

We went for a family walk (I'd call it a hike, but due to the swampy nature of the trails at present we stick to the paved path for now...) last night at Harrington Beach State Park. We are blessed to live pretty close to this small, but beautiful park. It has so much to offer as it is literally on the shores of Lake Michigan but also has a small lake that was once a quarry, a pond, prairie, deciduous and evergreen forest, and plenty of trails. It has a large population of deer most of which are pretty tolerant of people. They are wary, but allow us to get decently close and watch them.

As she always does, Kailin wanted to go right down to the water's edge. Steve took her down, but asked me to keep Colby as the lake was pretty riled up and he is FEARLESS. I managed to get a picture of Steve and Kailin and one of Colby and me. I love them both.

Next we explored a little waterfall that is created by spring runoff every year. The kids love to watch it and Steve and I are intrigued as well.

Then we rounded a bend in the path where the terrain opens up to a beautiful grassy knoll dotted with several deciduous trees. We sometimes see deer on the knoll and yesterday we spotted a doe and her twin yearlings. They took note of us but then went on about their business. Then it almost seemed as if they were edging closer to us. Then we were SURE they were edging closer to us, but we weren't sure if we were just at a natural intersect point in their path to get across the trail or if they were truly interested. One of the yearlings got even braver and boldly walked toward us, nose in the air, sniffing. Steve turned and asked me if I really thought the deer was checking us out. I said I thought that it was. It got probably about 15 feet away and we were marveling in our encounter with it when we heard someone whistle. It was only a minute or so before the deer turned and headed in the direction of the whistle. We looked over to see a man offering the deer apple cores. So they weren't checking us out - they were waiting to see if we were their gravy train. It was still a cool experience for the kids, but I'm disillusioned and frankly a little annoyed that the guy is feeding them. There is fall hunting in that park and the deer don't have a fair chance if they have no fear at all of humans.

We rounded out our walk along the path and Colby got into a coughing fit and then said that his tummy hurt, so I picked him up and carried him the rest of the way. I'm so glad we went yesterday. It was one of those simple everyday sorts of things that end up dotting the fabric of our lives with a beautiful pattern.

Toilet humor

Here's your fair warning that this post involves toilet humor. --Not low brow humor... but actual humor involving a toilet.

Colby woke up from his nap and told me he needed to POOP! We went into the bathroom and I got him situated. He arranged himself as usual - hands tightly gripping the seat at 9 and 3, heiny hung low. The he looked up at me with bright eyes and said, "Hang on tight.....heeeeeeere we gooooooo!!!" (It's a phrase he's heard from Peter Pan in the trailer for Disney movies) I had to stifle a laugh. That boy. Upon completing his task and having been asked by me if he was all finished, his reply was "Yep. I all done. Dat make my butt SOOOOO happy!!!" Whatever will I do with this one?!